


The Different Ways I Die

by Fizaxbieber



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a happy ending?, Another Lifetime, Hajime is searching for Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime will do anything to find Oikawa, M/M, They find each other eventually, but he doesn’t give up, but honestly i have no clue what i'm doing, he wants to stop, i wanna make this angsty as fuck, if it's not Oikawa it's not anyone, maybe not, maybe some smexy scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29757312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fizaxbieber/pseuds/Fizaxbieber
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime is driven mad by the memories of his past life except he can never get the full picture. Sometimes the memory is distorted to the point he cannot decipher anything. Other times it’s gone in a flash. Often there's a voice floating inside his head.But he can never see the person.[This is another lifetime. In which Iwaizumi Hajime is searching for Oikawa Tooru, his past lover.]
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	The Different Ways I Die

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this idea at 3 in the morning and I'm about to make it everyone's problem. Pretend there aren’t any plot holes, okay? And someone please notice the chapter title I’m trynna be creative.

**Iwaizumi Hajime**

Sleep comes to him in broken, pitiful ways because Hajime Iwaizumi can't remember the last time he slept peacefully. The bags under his eyes were a little too evident these days. The exhaustion in his smile was noticeable even to an ignorant person. He had stopped hanging out with his friends at some point and isolated himself in his bookshop.

Hajime can't escape _him_ after all.

He rubbed the crease between his eyebrows, his mouth falling downwards at the thought of his lover from his previous life. Hajime wasn't sure when he started getting these ruined - _stained_ memories but he has been living with them for most of his life. There wasn't anything special about Hajime Iwaizumi, so why him? Why was he the only one to see them? Why did he have to be on the receiving end? He was just another ordinary person, living an ordinary life and running his ordinary bookshop. So why can he still hear _him_?

Unfortunately, this was not an ordinary love story.

**________**

Growing up as a teen, Hajime used to think getting flashbacks from your past life was something that occurred to everyone. He didn't know it was only happening to him until one day he mentioned it to his dad and he gave him a questioning, perhaps crazy look in return. Hajime never dared to talk about it with anyone ever again because he feared if they came to know about these events people will surely call him a madman. He couldn't ignore the discomfort of his head, couldn't ignore the way his mouth twitched every time he heard _Iwa-chan_ but he couldn't confront his past self either. This suffering seemed to be endless like the sky.

He would occasionally wonder what would it be like to be in the arms of the guy from his vision. What kind of person he was? He wanted to know. What would it be like to see him without the blurring lines? And what if his lover had these sort of flashes too? It had to be mutual, _right_? And exactly how insane would he be for wanting to find this guy in this lifetime too? Hajime doesn’t even know _his_ name. Where should he start from? You see, it was a hopeless case but like a fool his heart kept longing to see his partner, just a glimpse would be enough. Anything, _something_.

He still had hope.

**_________**

The first time Hajime heard him outside of his head, it was on a radio. The book he was holding fell from his trembling hands, his head throbbed in a way it shouldn't have and he stopped working, stopped breathing. The world had stopped for him. Hajime had know clue how he knew but he was positive it was _him_. The man from his memories. It had to be. Hajime turned up the volume, listening intently.

 _I've been trying a different style recently._ A voice responds to the question with a soft hum. _I wanted to do something out of my comfort zone. I hope you look forward to seeing my new pieces!_

_And that was Oikawa Tooru, the famous painter–_

Hajime cannot hear the rest of their words, everything's distorted, panic spreading in his chest. He just found out _his_ name was Oikawa Tooru. In his visions, the person always called him _Iwa-chan_ but Hajime never knew their name. Only Oikawa's voice roaming in his mind endlessly. Hajime grabbed the radio with a certain desperation, his mouth half opened as if he was gasping. As if he was trying to call out his name.

Nobody was there to answer except for his own drifting echoes.

**________**

Hajime had bought any possible painting Oikawa ever made and hung them on the walls of his bookshop and apartment. He had gotten every book which had the mention of Oikawa because he needed to know everything he could find about him.

Oikawa Tooru was a famous painter known for his charismatic style and beautiful artwork. He recently turned twenty two and was apparently obsessed with anything related to aliens. His pieces were put in several museums and Oikawa was planning to hold his second exhibition soon.

How come Hajime never heard of him until now if he was _that_ famous?

Regardless Hajime would like to store up all the things related to Oikawa because the idea of keeping anything close to Oikawa made him feel something. They comforted him in his lonely nights when sleep was not an option and time seemed to be stuck. He would occasionally gaze at those pieces for hours wondering what was Oikawa thinking when he made these?

And if Hajime ever crossed his mind too because he was losing hours of sleep just for him.

**_________**

After a lot of overthinking, Hajime had decided to attend one of Oikawa's workshops. His nerves were all over the place, eyes wildly searching for that one person he was aching to see. Hajime was sweating an unimaginable amount, his nervousness spiking up. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

However when he reached the given location with his painting tools, every other individual turned out to be a kid. He was the only present adult in the room.

 _How embarrassing_. Hajime thought while taking his seat at the far end but remained stoic from the surface, not wavering once yet the tapping of his feet said otherwise. He was not going to give in to his anxiety!

Minutes before Oikawa was about to enter, he left in a rush with a sick face, on the verge of throwing up.

**________**

Hajime could never form a face. He had tried and failed multiple times but he could never create a picture of Oikawa in his head. Can you really blame him for stressing out to see the guy whose memories has been haunting him since his childhood? He was barely hanging on the thread of his sanity.

And right when he had the chance, Hajime ran away like a coward. He knew he would breakdown. Even the books he picked was done so carefully because Hajime didn't want to see him in a printed photograph. Of course he was tempted to but he kept his desire in check. He wanted to see him in person.

Plus he cannot paint to save his life. Hajime knows his fingers were not capable of even close to holding a brush, let alone he had to do it in front of Oikawa. He would be a wreck and that was not a good first impression.

While Hajime had a million ways planned to meet Oikawa, he had never expected to come across him in the most unexpected way.

**Author's Note:**

> Please share your thoughts in the comments. I already have the next chapters planned so I'll post them soon enough. Have a good day!


End file.
